This is my first post since summer 2013. I felt like I had to say something whether to comfort myself or someone else. I don’t really know. I guess we have blogs for such moments. To let it all out. To share with the world our sadness and grief.
This past week has been hard.
Until last week, I had no idea who Ladies’ Code was. I didn’t know their names. I never listened to their songs. I didn’t know their faces. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t know them not because they weren’t popular enough or talented enough. I love KPOP but the last time I witnessed a debut was with B.A.P. Life and studies got in the way and most of the time, I hear about new groups via certain shows I watch. That is it.
Yet, what happened to them affected me so much. Every morning the first thing I do is go online to see the new updates. And this morning I found out that Rise passed away. So, here I am. I want to pour my heart out but I have no words.
My first reaction was shock. Even though I had no idea who they were, the accident shocked me. The death of EunB saddened me. I was shedding tears for this beautiful woman whom I never met in my life yet I felt the pain in my heart as if I had known her forever.
Death is hard but is even harder when it is the death of a young woman who hasn’t lived yet, experienced yet, who just started living her dream and has so much to live ahead of her.
I always think that nothing could ever happen to these people. These people called ‘idols’. That ‘idols’ will leave forever. Like gods of KPOP. Unfortunately, this is not the case.
Untimely deaths sadden me the most. Maybe I am getting old. But I can not stop thinking about EunB and Rise and the lives that were ahead of them.
While Rise was unconscious, I had this urge of being there for her. Talk to her and tell her not to give up. To fight back. And she did as much as she could.
My heart breaks. I have been listening to their songs on repeat for days now. Though I don’t do well with religion, I know that EunB and Rise are in peace. They are not in pain. They are not suffering. All I hope is for Sojung, Ashley and Zuny to recover without complications.